Wed, Dec 18th, 2019

The NBA’s all-first name team — East vs. West — Tankathon update

Wednesday, December 18th, 2019

  • The Pelicans are serious about tanking 

  • Our list of acceptable players to call only by their first names

  • The East can go for team-for-team with the West

Tonight's must-watch games

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 The Lead: The conference gap that’s defined the last 20 years is shrinking     

From the day Michael Jordan retired as a Bull 21 years ago, the Western Conference has been far superior to the East.And that’s no exaggeration: Since 1998, the West has more titles (14-7), more 60-win seasons (19-10) and more MVP winners (13-8) than the East. The fissure would be much wider if not for LeBron.Finally, though, this year, the East -- from the front-runners to the bourgeoisie to the have-nots -- can match the West in depth. (Ironic, too, considering LeBron has risen to power in the West after 15 years of doing so in the East.)The top-six in the West, as of today: 

  1. Lakers: 24-4

  2. Clippers: 21-8

  3. Mavericks: 18-8

  4. Nuggets: 17-8

  5. Rockets: 18-9

  6. Jazz: 16-11

(Every other Western Conference team has a losing record.)The top-seven in the East, as of today: 

  1. Bucks: 24-4

  2. 76ers: 20-8

  3. Celtics: 17-7

  4. Heat: 19-8

  5. Raptors: 18-8

  6. Pacers: 19-9

  7. Nets: 15-12

Perhaps most telling, though, is that the West, which usually pads its record against the East, is 73-72 this season in interconference play. The West hasn’t had a losing record against the East since 08-09, with its peak coming in 13-14 with a 284-166 record vs. the East.Wrote Marc Stein, in his Tuesday newsletter: 

“The East remains the overall weaker conference from 1 to 15, but its top six teams have collectively been more impressive than the West’s. That’s even with Houston (arguably) and Dallas (definitely) exceeding expectations.”

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 2. A particularly egregious stat dump 

The epidemic is back.The victim: Rodney McGruderThe offender: Jerome RobinsonTime of pass: .9 left on the shot clock

 3. Tankathon update: #Takeabow, New Orleans   

(This segment is made possible through our friends at Tankathon.com.)

Interesting tank game of the week: Pelicans at Warriors, Friday. Could this be a showdown for worst record in the league?New Orleans has our respect 

  • The Pelicans are surging, folks. They’ve strung together an impressive 13 straight losses, catapulting themselves firmly into the top-four, just one game behind the Warriors, who have also had a wonderful week. With Zion’s return still up in the air, and with Jrue Holiday now on the trade block, expect them to go loss-for-loss with the worst of them throughout the season. 

The Knicks need to chill out 

  • Last week, they had the worst record in the league. Since, they’re 3-1 and outside of a coveted top-four spot, but nothing hurt more than last night’s 143-120 win over the Hawks, which vaulted Atlanta into the third-worst record in the league. 

The Grizzlies are playing a dangerous game

  • Memphis has pieced together three straight wins, including one on Monday against the Heat. This recent competence could have serious ramifications down the line; if the Grizzlies don’t land in the top-six of the lottery, they’ll have to give their pick up to the Celtics.

 4. The definitive list of first name-only players  

To go simply by your first name -- we’ll call it the

Ichiro Clause

-- is no small feat. You must be unique; have an awesome name; dominate the league for years; have a really hard to say last name; have been slighted in some terrible way; or have some combination of those five things.

(The initialed names -- AD, KD, CP -- are nice, but absolutely do not count.)

Our list:

  • LeBron: as if he even needs a last name … oh, you meant THAT LeBron!

  • Giannis: started out as a copy editing practicality and turned into a deserved honor; if you want to completely master his first name, here’s how to pronounce it

  • Luka: a 20-year-old wonder from a far away land, plus Dončić is hard for us to say without sounding uncultured, and we are not uncultured -- how dare you?

  • Zion: a biblical name for a biblical season of college basketball

  • Russ: we collectively shortened his name and started calling him this after Kevin DURANT left in 2016

  • Kawhi: immortalized by said moniker after last year’s title run

  • Steph: somewhere in the NBA bylaws, there’s a rule that, if you hit 400 3s in a season, you shall be known only by a first name

Zach Lowe and Adrian Wojnarowski open NBA trade season[The Lowe Post]