The Opening Tip

• Are small-market cities being phased out of the ASG?

• It’s not fun to be Jordan Poole these days

• A modest venture into where the 2023-24 Celtics rank all-time

You gotta give.

1. Going forward, the NBA will not humor your pathetic little ‘city’

All-Star Weekend in Indianapolis, functionally, seemed fine. There was a court in the airport. The floor had LED lights. Those parts were pretty cool.

But something must have happened or Adam Silver must have had an epiphany, because the NBA immediately decided to up the standards for host cities by changing a bunch of rules.

Should a market want to host, it now must have, via the Oklahoman: 

• 7,250 hotel rooms and a minimum of three five-star hotels

• Convention center of 650,000 square feet of exhibition space

• 75 nonstop domestic flights and at least 20 international flights

Basically, the NBA said, we couldn’t really say no small cities … but, uh, yeah, no small cities, which means places like Minneapolis, which has a PATHETIC convention center with ONLY 475,000 square feet, will never even sniff an All-Star Game.

And, don’t worry, we’ll get the full story a few years from now on what happened in Indy when The Athletic runs an oral history titled ‘Sold-Out Hotels, Crowded Airports and Long Beer Lines: How Indy (Accidentally) Changed All-Star Weekend Forever.’

2. Daily GIF: Uhhhhh, ok

Since signing a four-year, $140M contract, Jordan Poole has exercised the holy trinity of bad NBA things:

1. Getting punched in the face by Draymond Green

2. Getting traded to the Wizards

3. Getting benched by the Wizards

He also made that pass last night.

3. Trivia

4. The Celtics are up there

Two things can be true about the 2023-24 Boston Celtics. 

1. None of this matters unless they win the championship

2. They are, historically, really good 

They’re now 44-12 after blowing out the Bulls last night, which puts them on pace for 64-65 wins, a historically elite but not all-time great total. 

By some of those little nerd stats, though …

• Their offensive rating (121 points per 100 possessions) is No. 1 in the NBA and No. 1 all-time 

• They’re also second in the NBA in defensive rating (110.6); no one’s finished with a top 2 defense and offense since the 2016-17 Warriors, maybe the greatest team of all-time 

By net rating (point differential per 100 possessions), they are in 2016-17 Warriors territory, too:

(Side note: That’s three MJ teams in the top 10. Whose teams are missing?)

Only two of those teams didn’t win the title (the 2015-16 Spurs and Warriors), with an optimistic TBD on the loaded 2023-24 Celtics.

Quick hits

• Last night, Nikola Jokic dropped a 23-19-15 triple-double on 10/10 shooting.

• We’re just saying: The Charlotte Hornets are 4-0 since trading for Grant Williams. 

• Cult hero Aleksej Pokusevski, who looks more ‘convicted in crypto scam’ than ‘plays in the NBA,’ has been waived by the Thunder. 

• There was a bizarre exchange last night between KD and a fan who called him a ‘bitch.’

• Luke Kornet.

Reads

• NBA dead period filled by JJ Redick reacting to himself blasting Doc Rivers [Defector]

• Victor Wembanyama’s head lodged between rim and backboard again [The Onion]

That's the buzzer.
Thanks for reading the 361st edition of The Grip.