Mar 31st, 2023

Kings, finally — Caitlin Clark! — Beal vs. Bettor

March 31, 2023

Fri, March 31st, 2023

  The Opening Tip

  • There’s a must-see WCBB game tonight

  • There’s some must-not-watch tanking happening in the NBA right now

  • Bradley Beal’s in trouble for snapping on a sports-betting fan

 1. Finally  

The funniest, saddest part of the Kings’ 17-year playoff drought is that they were never even close.They finished 39-43 in 2018-19 -- nine games out of the eighth spot --  but otherwise had 33 or less wins in 14 of those 16 playoff-less seasons.Last year they sucked, too, winning 30 games while being panned for what looked like a disastrous trade, which is what makes this season -- they officially clinched on Wednesday for the first time since 2006 -- so delightful.(Ok, we’ll do it.)In 2006 … the Thunder were the Sonics, the Brooklyn Nets were the New Jersey Nets (that’s going well!), Youtube was turning 1 and the world’s most influential NBA newsletter was 11 years from its creation (oh my god, we’ve been doing this for a long time).In short, good for Kings fans.[READ: Kings fans have waited so long for this][WATCH: All the bad preseason Kings takes]

 2. Daily GIF: Caitlin Clark is must-see   

Iowa and South Carolina play tonight in the women’s Final Four. If for no other reason, catch a few minutes of Caitlin Clark, who dropped a 40-point triple-double in the Elite Eight and plays basketball somewhere between Damian Lillard and Steph Curry. 

 3. Trivia time  

Now that the Kings have snapped their 17-year playoff drought, who owns the longest playoff drought in the NBA?Answer at the bottom.

4. New Game: Is this someone who’s played minutes on a tanking team this season, or a completely made up name?  

(Who is this, you wonder? We can’t reveal our secrets.)

Rules: Guess, click and see if you’re right. Kareem means you got it; Mutombo means you’re wrong.1. John Butler Jr. Real Player | Made Up Name2. Salambek OmarReal Player | Made Up Name3. Silvester ThygeReal Player | Made Up Name4. Simone FontecchioReal Player | Made Up Name5. Julian ChampagnieReal Player | Made Up Name[LOOK: Tankathon standings]

5. The betting stuff has become too much  

The legalization of sports gambling was just and constitutional. The non-stop, in-your-face shameless cash grab from leagues and their media partners, who peddle things like ‘UNCLE COLIN’S SAME GAME PARLAY,’ is way too much. 

  • NBA players have long complained uneasily about being harassed for ‘ruining parlays,’* but we got what appears to be the first physical altercation from such nonsense on Tuesday. 

  • TLDR: Bradley Beal chose to confront some asshole yelling at him about a lost bet, which might now lead to him being charged with simple assault. 

  • From a report: ‘Beal, according to the report, turned around and walked toward a friend of the man who made the comment and swatted his right hand toward him, knocking the man's hat off and contacting the left side of his head.’

No. 1: Good for Beal. Justice for Beal.No. 2: The Wizards were the first team in American sports to put a sportsbook in their arena. * Toronto’s Chris Boucher went in-depth on this on a podcast recently.

 6.  Quick Hits 

  • Classic Blake giving no fucks moment last night: Laughs after getting headbutted by Giannis’ brother, asks Jaylen Brown for his mask.

  • Things were going too well for the Timberwolves. 

  • Paul Pierce has a dating question.

  • Rudy Gobert on the refs: ‘It’s bullshit. It’s bullshit. It’s not fair. It’s really not fair.’

  • Kareem in his old man bag, pt. 23048.

 7.  Reads & Pods