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Less Draymond Green, please
Fri, May 17th, 2024
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The Opening Tip
No more Draymond Green
Ant Edwards highlights
Who would win, Nikola vs. Jalen edition
Tonight’s playoff game
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1. This guy sucks so much
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Inside the NBA, TNT’s iconic studio show which can just as easily switch between hoops legacy talk and live rodent content, might be going away soon.
So it’s only wrong to have the dying embers of this formative institution peed on by Draymond Green, one of the least pleasant people in the world.
He’s been added to the panel for the last few days of postseason coverage. Beyond a cluttered aesthetic, he can’t seem to separate his ego from a meant-to-be fun studio show. Everything with this bozo is (1) about him and (2) a pissing contest.
Examples:
Alex Caruso says DeMar DeRozan could’ve won ‘Clutch Player of the Year.’ Draymond interrupts to say DeMar didn’t win enough.
Caruso says no one can guard Nikola Jokic. Here comes Draymond.
The Celtics advance to the Eastern Conference Finals. Draymond uses the chance to trash the Pacers and Al Horford’s pick-and-roll defense.
Rudy Gobert gets worked by Jokic. Draymond uses it as fuel for his personal vendetta against Gobert.
Reminder: In 2023-24 alone, this guy choked out Gobert, punched Jusef Nurkic in the face, got suspended twice, and got his ass kicked in the play-in game. He’s also kicked several people in the nuts, stomped on another, sucker-punched a teammate, and so on.
He’d be great as a Warriors-specific media guy who can pander to his audience of enablers. But why foist him upon us?
2. Daily GIF: This guy rules so much
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The Wolves beat the Nuggets last night by 45 points, which included a 27-2 run and a 26-0 run. This series deserved a Game 7, which we’re getting on Sunday.
[WATCH: Game 6 Ant Edwards highlights]
3. Trivia
Who is the youngest NBA player to reach 10,000 points?
4. The NBA’s future is Nikola and Jalen
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The rise of Jalen/Jaylen/Jaylin in the NBA is well-documented and genuinely wild.
TLDR: The popularity of Jalen Rose -- his name essentially did not exist before his mom came up with it -- in the 1990s led to a Jalen boom, which led to a boom in NBA players with the name.
According to BBRef, there are currently 13 Jalen/Jaylen/Jaylins in the league. It’s undoubtedly the Dick of this era.
But the Serbian Nikolas are uber prominent, too.
You know about Jokic. You might even know about Jovic. But, sir, two more Serbian Nikolas are about to hit the NBA. Nikola Topic (No. 4) and Nikola Djurisic (No. 41) are both projected NBA draft picks this June.
Serbia has 6.6M people. Soon, four of those 6.6M will be Nikolas in the NBA. If you keep that ratio and scale it to America’s population, there would be 255 Nikolas in the NBA
Anyways: The NBA All-Star Game is washed. Replace it with a Jalen vs. Nikola game.
Team Jalen:
PG: Jalen Brunson
SG: Jaylen Brown
SF: Jalen Williams
PF: Jalen Johnson
C: Jalen Duren
(That’s one of the best teams in the league.)
Team Nikola:
PG: Nikola Topic
SG: Nikola Djurisic
SF: Nickeil Alexander-Walker (we’re making due)
PF: Nikola Jovic
C: Nikola Jokic
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Quick hits
Nikola Jokic spent the entire fourth quarter last night standing up, which was oddly menacing.
Ant on whether or not he told Nuggets workers he’d be back after the Game 5 L: “Hell yeah. I told em, I said 'I'll see y'all motherfuckers for Game 7.’”
Strange but true: Luka and Kyrie are only averaging a combined 38.2 PPG vs. the Thunder but lead the series, 3-2.
OG Anunoby is out for Game 6 tonight.
No one ever said rhythm was Celtics’ fans forte.
Dubbing Kevin Harlan’s ‘Is this the dagger?’ call over a meaningless shot that cuts into a massive lead is the NBA Internet’s best bit going.
Worst foul call of the postseason?
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Reads
NBC’s NBA nostalgia play [The Ringer]
Bill Simmons is in the middle of an all-time flip-flop on Nuggets-Timberwolves [Awful Announcing]
The unsuspenseful Boston Celtics [The Ringer]
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That's the buzzer.
Thanks for reading the 383rd edition of The Grip.