Fri, June 30th, 2023

  The Opening Tip

• Why can’t the 2017 Warriors drink beer? 

• A random Twitter account is out-scooping the scoopsters

• The Spurs legends took a personality pic

 1. These people are just miserable    

A year-and-a-half after requesting a trade from the Nets and ~two seasons after requesting a trade from the Rockets, James Harden has requested a trade from the 76ers.ICYWW, here’s the updated trade request leaderboard over the last five years:

1. Harden, 3

2. Kevin Durant, 2

3. Kyrie Irving, 2 

4. All others, 1

With all the restlessness and unhappiness, you’d assume these three haven’t had any agency, freewill or autonomy to construct a basketball team exactly the way they want it, right? And these three superstar friends definitely never got the chance to all play on the same team, right??But seriously: What is it with these three in particular, who’ve played for a combined nine teams (soon-to-be 10) since the 2019 season?Every franchise they force their way out of is weirdly relieved once they’re gone, and nowhere they go ever wins: Neither Harden, KD or Kyrie has played in a conference finals game over the last four playoffs.We’re just going to say it. Maybe it’s not worth having them around?[READ: Where will James Harden go next?]

 2. Daily GIF: Draymond can’t chug beer 

Draymond Green has been outed as the second member of the 2017 Warriors to not be able to chug a Bud Light, joining Kevin Durant. 

 3. Trivia time  

Who is the only player to play high school and college basketball in the same state, while also being drafted No. 1 overall to an NBA team in the same state? Answer at the bottom.Hint: Recent.

4. An anon Twitter account is scooping Woj and Shams 

An anonymous Twitter account named @droppingdimes20, which was deleted yesterday but has since respawned as @droppingdimes50, has been tweeting out NBA scoops for the past few days, often beating Woj and Shams.Most notably, they tweeted out the Harden news -- along with speculation that the Clippers would be the favorites to trade for him -- an hour before either of the regular news-breakers. Then the black SUVs showed up and nuked the account.He/she/person who hacked Woj’s phone is back tweeting news, though.Take a scroll for yourself.

5. The worst fits in this photo, ranked 

The legacy of Spurs Past comes down to two things: Winning constantly and giving zero fucks about anything other than winning. Those two attitudes led to five rings in 15 years and some of the worst fits of all-time, like in the pic above.Fits in the pic, ranked from least bad to worst:  

5. Victor Wembanyama: He had a nice suit on draft night and a perfectly acceptable Nike polo here.4. Tim Duncan: This outfit is actually so flippant that it’s kind of cool.3. Sean Elliott: Perfectly acceptable fit for a regular person, kind of lame fit for a rich person.2. Manu: I recognize that shirt. I bought it at Marshall’s once. The buttons give it some extra depth.1. David Robinson: If he reminds you of a nerdy-but-nice high school music teacher, that’s because he’s a nerdy music lover who was forced into becoming one of the best NBA players ever.

 6.  Quick Hits 

• ESPN just fired Jeff Van Gundy, Jalen Rose and a bunch of other NBA personalities.   

• The recently-drafted Thompson Twins are two NBA-loving kings. 

• The entire NBA wants Bruce Brown on their team. 

• Kyrie Irving is leaking that he’s going to meet with the Suns, because he’s trying to drum up leverage with the Mavericks. 

• The Rockets are going to sign everyone tonight. 

• Ernie Johnson is going to the Sports Broadcasting Hall of Fame. 

• This will shock you: Ben Simmons has turned down another opportunity to play organized basketball.

 7.  Reads 

• "What's going on in Utah?": An oral History of Brian Windhorst's viral monologue [GQ]

• The 30-team guide to NBA free-agency [ESPN]

• Gregg Popovich is lucky the Spurs landed Victor Wembanyama. So are we. [Washington Post]