The Grip - FRI 5.3.19

The AriZona iced tea appreciation post

May 03, 2019

Friday, May 3rd, 2019

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Written while listening to NxWorries' Get Bigger

 D-Lo walks into an airport... 

The AriZona beverage brand is timeless. Years pass. Seasons change. The 3-point revolution takes over the NBA. And still, be it 2002 or 2019, you can amble on down to the local corner store and buy a big can of inflation-proof sugar water for 99 cents. When global warming takes us all at some point in the next five to 10 years, we can only hope the next life forms with socialistic tendencies and opposable thumbs reintroduce the 99-cent nectar. For now, though, we'll celebrate it, and be happy that Brooklyn Nets guard D'Angelo Russell introduced us to another use for a jerry-rigged AriZona can on Thursday: The impractical weed holder!The All-Star was cited for marijuana possession at LaGuardia Airport in Queens yesterday, and the undisclosed amount was found inside a carved out AriZona can, proving that NBA millionaires and townies at Hampton Beach aren't that different after all.The flavor of AriZona wasn't immediately disclosed, unfortunately, but, as Woj said later on Thursday, this won't do much to sway the Nets from courting Russell, who is set to become a restricted free agent.  Russell will be fined $100 for his citation and might have to enter a "marijuana program," according to the CBA. If anything, this story shows the strange relationship this country has with weed right now. On one hand, it's chic, artisanal and mainstream. On the other hand, a millionaire feels he needs to sneak it by TSA on his flight to Louisville.(Not that a real AriZona can would even get by security.) 

The Process gives back

Joel Embiid had an infectious moment of bliss during last night's blowout win over the Raptors. Which begs the question: When are the 76ers going to end the cold war and bring back Sam Hinkie for one of these home games? 

Sidenote:

Embiid is a career 30 percent 3-point shooter from deep. Why is Marc Gasol biting for that drawn-out shot fake? 

Pat vs. The House

 From the mean streets of Prospect Hill to a gentrified loft in South Boston, friend of The Grip Pat Tracy has always held one thing near and dear to his heart: His bookie. Welcome to another segment of Pat vs. The House, a betting column where Pat will share who he’s picking -- and why -- for games du jour.  

Milwaukee Bucks at Boston Celtics (-2.5) -- [over/under 219] Game 3 - tonight - 8 p.m. EST

Pat: Game 1 was a masterpiece from the Celtics. Game 2 was what I call a “narrative game." It just made sense that the Bucks would bounce back and avoid going down two games to none on their home court. Game 3 will take place in The Garden, which will be as loud and full of energy as a pack of spiked-hair bros in striped button-down shirts leaving the Harp after three jӓger bombs.  Kyrie had just nine points in Game 2, shooting 22 percent from the field. Don't expect a similar result on Friday night. I would bet the over on Kyrie’s points prop, as he is going to shoot the lights out. As long as the Celtics can keep the Greek Freak from getting comfortable around the rim like they did in Game 1, I predict that the Celtics will win this game by at least five points.  If you want to bet on the Celtics to win the series, do it before tonight's game.  Best Bet: Celtics -2.5 Pat’s Pick --> Celtics -2.5 Odds to win series: Bucks (-200), Celtics (+160) 

Denver Nuggets at Portland Trail Blazers (-4) -- [over/under 215] Game 3 - tonight - 10:30 p.m. EST

 Pat: If I wasn't addicted to gambling, I would not even bet this game. It looks like it is going to be a close one. Moe Harkless is questionable for the game as of now. The minutes that Harkless is not in the game will most likely go to the underrated former Maryland Terrapin, Jake Layman. Fear the turtle.  I think Layman can stretch the floor more effectively than Harkless, giving Lillard another weak side threat alongside CJ McCollum. Look for the Blazers to bring the noise at home and ride an early lead all the way through the third quarter. After the third quarter, all bets are off. Maybe Nikola Jokic will take over, and this will be a close game in the last few minutes. Maybe Damian Lillard will hit a few nonsensical 35-foot jump shots, OKC style.    Who knows.  What I do know is that I will most likely lose money if I bet on this game. And when that happens, I will become upset. And once I am upset, I will start writing my 10-page exposé on the corruption of NBA officials and their ongoing conspiracy of fixing NBA games.  For now, I will leave you with a relevant quote:

  • "I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind."  -Steve Allen 

Best Bet: Blazers first half (-2) Pat’s Pick --> Blazers (-4) Odds to win series: Nuggets (+105), Blazers (-135) 

Pat’s $20 Parlay

Celtics -2.5 Trail Blazers -4 Rockets (-165) WINS: $97

Quick Hits  

  1. Per Woj: Ty Lue is expected to be named the Lakers' new coach, though a contract hasn't been finalized yet, which is really something. 

  2. Also per Woj: Monty Williams has been named the new head coach in Phoenix, but will stay with the 76ers as an assistant through the playoffs. 

 Concrete Reads 

  • Enes Kanter, a wanted man in Turkey, was being scrubbed from his country’s NBA Twitter feed [The WaPo]

  • Scratches, GoT and mic stands: Inside Nikola Jokic's first postseason [ESPN]

  • Kyrie Irving and the Celtics' state of dismay [ESPN]

  Podcast Pick