Fri, Dec 14th, 2018

An NBA-obsessed newsletter for the info-craved basketball mind.

Written while listening to Black Sheep's The Choice is Yours

You can keep your awful team, Arizona

Phoenix is the quintessential modern day sports market, popping out pro teams in the late 20th-century faster than a Randy Johnson four-seamer. Manifest Destiny (s/o APUSH) among the MLB, NFL, WNBA and NHL brought the Diamondbacks in 1998, the Cardinals in 1989, the Mercury in 1997, and the Coyotes in 1996.But the Suns were the trailblazers, laying claim to the city and state in 1968.It looked on Wednesday like that run might come to an end, when noted doofus and Suns owner Robert Sarver allegedly threatened to move the team to either Las Vegas or Seattle if he doesn’t get $230 million from tax money to renovate his arena.[READ: Will the Phoenix Suns move to Seattle or Las Vegas if an arena deal fails?]There was supposed to be a city council vote on Wednesday to decide this, but it got pushed back.And now, Sarver is back-tracking completely, saying the Suns “are not leaving Phoenix” on Thursday night on Twitter.Perhaps Sarver, who has presided over a truly terrible last seven years, was heartwarmed by the negative response to the Suns packing up.But most likely it was local fan Greta Rogers, who just absolutely posterized Sarver in a formal meeting on Wednesday.“He’s so tight, he squeaks when he walks!” - Greta

Athletic, what you doin?

Two weeks ago, we tried our hand at making sense of the blacklisted Dwight Howard story. We tried to approach it with sensitivity; the point was to bring light to an inconvenient, complex story. We’re not sure it all made sense, but we definitely thought it was carefully observed.Here is how The Athletic chose to deal with the Dwight Howard story (we are assuming the reference is to the incident), which came as a tidbit in an over-the-top Steph Curry profile:Chef Smelly? International Smoke? Mistah Fab? Is this a profile or a third-grade roast?Of course, the ‘tranny sex tape’ line was the real problem, and it was deleted about 10 minutes after going live. An apology quickly popped up underneath the story, and, honestly, Deadspin covered this whole debacle way better than we can.The Athletic fancies itself a disruptor but could as aptly be described as two guys equating spending millions of V.C. dollars to solving the world hunger crisis. It does mostly the same work as a local newspaper, the same ones those cold brew-sucking CEOs want to let “continuously bleed.”But at least a good newspaper editor would: 

A. Actually read a longform profile of Steph Curry.

B. Take out the part where the writer goes rogue and fabricates a conversation about a 'tranny sex tape.'

 Seasons by players named Dick, ranked*     

7. Dick Bunt, 1953, Knicks, 2.9 PPG in 14 games6. Dick Dickey, Celtics, 1952, 2.8 PPG in 45 games**5. Dick Atha, 1955, Knicks, 3.7 PPG in 25 games4. Dick Duckett, Royals (Kings), 1958, 3.9 PPG in 34 games3. Dick Cunningham, Bucks, 1969, 4.6 PPG in 77 games2. Dick Farley, 1959, Pistons, 7 PPG in 70 games1. Dick Barnett, 1966, Knicks, 23 PPG in 75 games**(Yes, Dick Dickey got the slight nod over Dick Bunt despite a lesser overall scoring average, but Dick Dickey played 31 more games for the ‘52 Celtics than Dick Bunt did for the ‘53 Knicks. This isn’t some low-qual clickbait list folks, there’s a science to these rankings.)*One season per Dick

Pat vs. The House

From the mean streets of Prospect Hill to a gentrified loft in South Boston, friend of the Grip Pat Tracy has always held one thing near and dear to his heart: His bookie. Welcome to his occasional betting segment, Pat vs. The House. Hello world. Today is one of those days that I don't feel so bad about being a degenerate gambler. Do I hate the fact that my love for basketball has shifted slowly toward a simplistic love for profit? Sure. But today, I am able to ignore that internal crisis thanks to Zach LaVine and Jonathan Isaac. Last night, each of them helped turn a tough betting loss into a miracle cover for anyone who had the Magic minus-5 points.For those of you who didn't watch a regular season game between the Bulls and the Magic, congratulations, you are smarter than me. But let me explain what happened.The Magic took a two-point lead with 28 seconds left. Zach Lavine missed a floater, and the Magic got a defensive rebound. Naturally, the Bulls fouled. D.J. Augustin made both free throws. Now, with the Magic only up by four points with ten seconds on the clock, everything pointed toward Magic bettors taking a tough loss. That's where Zach LaVine came to the rescue. In just one inexplicable second, Lavine ran straight out of bounds.But it wasn’t over yet. After two made free throws from D.J. Augustin, LaVine got a chance to take the money straight out of my pocket as time expired. Enter Jonathan Isaac.Miracles do happen, folks.NBA Championship Value Pick: Houston Rockets +2000My picks for tonight's games: 

The Beard is back (in the record books)

James Harden was on full display last night, racking up his fourth career 50-point triple double. According to SB Nation, Harden and Westbrook have had seven combined 50-point triple doubles in their careers, all within the past three seasons, and in the rest of league history, there have been six total -- none since 1975 (Kareem Abdul-Jabbar).

   Quick Hits

• On Wednesday, the Warriors lost by 20 at home to a Kawhi-less Raptors team playing on a back-to-back. They look mortal and it feels so good.

• In other news, the Raptors hype-train is picking up speed.

• Derek Fisher has a shady new gig that Baron Davis is not a fan of.

• The 2005-06 season: When Allen Iverson dropped 33 a game and didn't win the scoring title.

• G.M. LeBron is something else. Here's him essentially giving Kentavious Caldwell-Pope a pre-trade pep talk through the media.

• Jabari Parker will reportedly not be in the regular rotation for the Bulls anymore.

• Contract Alert: Spencer Dinwiddie, in a quest to become the face of the franchise, signed a three-year extension with the Brooklyn Nets.

• Trevor Ariza is definitely down to return home to L.A. and play with LeBron the Lakers.

 Concrete Reads

• Why NBA stars are trading In their Nikes [New York Times]

• The Suns need a better owner -- not a new arena [Sports Illustrated]

• How the Heat made the coolest jerseys in the NBA [ESPN]

  Podcast Pick

Kevin Durant joints the Bill Simmons Podcast [The Ringer]

Three must see games this weekend

Tonight, 12/14

Tomorrow, 12/15Sunday, 12/16