Feb 8th, 2023

NBA’s worst writer — 38,388 — Deadline buzz

February 08, 2023

Wed, Feb 8th, 2023

  The Opening Tip

  • LeBron got the record last night

  • We have a new game show

  • The NBA’s premier insider needs our help

 1. Every NBA deadline rumor summed up in 85 words 

*Inhales*

  1. Teams don’t wanna trade with the Nets unless it’s for KD. 

  2. The Wizards are Wizarding by keeping Kyle Kuzma. 

  3. Toronto really wants Nic Claxton. 

  4. Remember Eric Gordon? Someone might rescue him. 

  5. There’s a market for Denver’s Bones Hyland. 

  6. Teams want Jakob Poeltl, but the Spurs are being sticklers. 

  7. Milwaukee wants Derrick Rose. 

  8. Golden State might be ready to give up on their young players. 

  9. Chicago will probably keep quiet. 

  10. Everyone wants the Raptors’ various good players, including Fred VanVleet, Pascal Siakam and O.G. Anunoby. 

*Exhales*

 2. Daily GIF: LeBron gets the record   

LeBron scored 36 points (plus two more) last night to break Kareem’s 39-year-old scoring record.For reference on how rare this is, here’s Kareem breaking Wilt’s record in 1984, and here’s Wilt beating Bob Pettit’s record in 1966.And here’s Anthony Davis looking remarkably disengaged during LeBron’s record-clinching basket.

 3. Trivia time  

Only three members of the NBA’s all-time top 10 scoring list didn’t/haven’t played for the Lakers. Who are they?Answers at the bottom.

4. Game show: Is this a real quote about or by Kyrie Irving?   

Rules: Read the quote, decide for yourself, and click to see if you’re right. Mutombo means you’re wrong. Kareem means you’re right.Jason Kidd, on bringing in Kyrie: 

‘He’s all about basketball. He wants to win. He wants to be coached.’

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Mark Cuban, on bringing in Kyrie:  

‘We think we can be the team that brings him in and tries to understand him. Not that those other teams didn’t try and do that, but we feel we have the blueprint to helping Kyrie, and him helping us win.’

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Kyrie Irving, on leaving BK: 

‘I want to be in places I’m celebrated, not just tolerated. There were times in Brooklyn I felt very disrespected.’

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Kyrie Irving, on his new car: 

‘I have contained my rage for as long as possible, but I shall unleash my fury upon you like the crashing of a thousand waves! Begone, vile man! Begone from me! A starter car? This car is a finisher car! A transporter of gods! The golden god! I am untethered, and my rage knows no bounds!’

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5. A message to Shams Charania: Let us be your ghost writer 

NBA insider Shams Charania is at the absolute top of the NBA news breaking game, which makes his inability to string together a structured and competent sentence so perplexing.Here is how he began his insider’s look at the Kyrie-to-Dallas trade, which ran in The New York Times-owned Athletic on Sunday: 

‘When Kyrie Irving demanded a trade from the Brooklyn Nets on Friday, a league-altering domino fell and shook up the marketplace, causing a shockwave across the league and an arms race to get underway. It would pit several of the league’s teams looking for that one difference-making piece that could get them to the top of the list of title contenders against each other.’

Reminder: This is one of the NBA’s foremost powerbrokers.Continuing:  

‘Irving has once again emerged as difference maker of the Association.’

As a* difference maker. Also, just say ‘the league.’ A difference maker in the league.More: 

‘The Lakers and Irving seemed to be the most obvious match, with Irving last summer desiring a reunion with former Cleveland Cavaliers championship teammate LeBron James and having a special interest in playing in a Lakers backcourt that would allow him to follow in the legendary footsteps of Kobe Bryant.’

Shams:

You clearly don’t have time to write. We desire a partnership with you, even though you aren’t our former Cleveland Cavaliers championship teammate. Let us write your

 articles.

[

: Shams Charania’s metaphors don’t make sense in a drawing either]

 6.  Quick Hits 

  • Throwback to the timeKareem got mad at LeBron for doing the big balls dance. 

  • LeBrongoing on ESPN and saying how disappointed he was about not getting Kyrie -- while knowing any Kyrie trade would have to involve current teammate Russell Westbrook -- was really something. 

  • A redditorchronicled the last six years of the Kyrie experience through Bill Simmons’ tweets. 

  • Second-year Net Cam Thomas in three games since Kyrie left: 44.7 PPG. 

  • Ben Simmons’ latest masterpiece: 27 minutes, 2 points, 4 turnovers.

 7.  Reads & Pods 

  • What I think about LeBron breaking my NBA scoring record [Kareem’s Substack]

  • Every point LeBron has scored in every jersey [ESPN]

  • Where does the Kyrie trade leave KD? [The Ringer]